Why do I always cry watching people cross the finish line of a marathon? I’m usually not the only one crying, either.
As humans, we love to see people do hard things. We love an underdog story and we love to root for one another, particularly when tremendous effort is involved.
Part of it, I think, is biological. We’re social creatures and our survival as a species depends on others. Seeing someone push through fear and fatigue signals competence under stress and tells us that when shit gets hard, this is someone who can and will persevere.
We’re also empathetic creatures. We almost co-experience events with one another and actually feel the emotions we expect others to be experiencing. We can deeply understand what putting in hard work feels like and we get a similar sense of satisfaction when that effort is rewarded (or devastation when it’s not), even when we’re only a witness to it.
And, of course, we love a good story arc. It’s why achievement alone isn’t magic. But achievement preceded by effort is, because it includes enough tension to make the resolution satisfying.
In New York, we largely agree that marathon Sunday is the best day of the year. There’s something about the shared experience of coming together to cheer for tens of thousands of runners that turns us into warm, outwardly emotional, uncharacteristically jubilant versions of ourselves.
So, that’s probably why I’m crying as a spectator at the finish line of a big race, but there’s something magical about being cheered for as well. If you’ve ever wondered why a 20 mile training run actually feels harder than the 26.2 miles on race day, I’d venture to guess being cheered for has something to do with it.
Humans supporting, and being supported by, other humans is one of the best things about, well, being human.
These days I usually can’t get through an hour let alone a whole day without hearing about AI. I love AI, let’s be real... But as things become more and more commoditized, and we start to experience more and more sameness, what is it that will truly differentiate in the age of AI? What will actually matter?
Being human is irreplaceable. We’re complex and creative and empathetic and emotional. I’m not saying AI won’t replace jobs or parts of our lives, of course it will. But having ChatGPT cheer for you? It’s simply not the same.
All the meaningfully positive breakthroughs I’ve had in recent memory are tied to human involvement. When I was training for the New York City marathon in 2024, I did most of my training solo. I was underfueling for how much I was training and I was messing up my hormone health. That in turn increased my risk of injury and two weeks before the race, my physical therapist told me she could not, in good faith, advise me to run the marathon without knowing for sure that the pain I was feeling in my leg wasn’t a stress fracture. After an X-Ray, MRI and a whole lot of tears, I was cleared to run… but the experience had, metaphorically, slapped me in the face.
I started working with a nutritionist shortly after the marathon to try to get things back on track and, despite the fact that she wasn’t giving me advice that was practically any different from what ChatGPT was telling me, she was able to relate to my story. She’s also a runner, and also knows what it’s like to be a female human. She could empathize with my history of restrictive eating and, most importantly, she challenged me and made me a little uncomfortable. That is what made all the difference, and I recommend her to my girlfriends probably at least once a quarter.
Since then, I’ve been more intent on leaning on coaches, running and cycling clubs and human to human interaction because while falling back on AI is easy, and actually extremely helpful and beneficial in a lot of ways, it can also be isolating. We’re all already isolated enough and if I’ve learned anything over the past few years, it’s that growth doesn’t happen in isolation.
This is applicable to basically everything: working toward a promotion, navigating physical or mental health conditions, training for something, launching a company, learning a new skill…
Last week I said you can’t have it all, and this week I’m saying you also can’t do it alone. It’s important to know what we’re independently capable of and I do think we should be comfortable spending time alone, but there just isn’t a replacement for human to human connection and community.
If you read this far, thank you. Not just for reading this far, but for being part of my community.
Love,
Em
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Edit to share:
My dietician/nutritionist: Ally Rosen
My sports doctor/physical therapist: Natalya Urovish, MD
My Ironman/endurance coach: Purple Patch
My primary run club: Pitch & Run
My cycling club: NYCC
I have a story about watching the London Marathon I’ll have to share with you one day Emily. This post is a podcast episode! So many interesting rabbit holes to go down.